Act II: Alice Barnett as Lady Jane. Lady Jane, accompanying herself on the cello, laments the passing of the years and expresses her hope that Bunthorne will "secure" her before it is too late ("Silvered is the raven hair"). Meanwhile, Grosvenor wearily entertains the ladies ("A magnet hung in a hardware shop") and begs to be given a half-holiday from their cloying attentions. The Dragoons' Major, Colonel, and Duke attempt to earn their partners' love through an effort to convert to the principles of aestheticism ("It's clear that mediaeval art"). Then Patience confesses her affection for Grosvenor to Bunthorne, who is naturally furious at the revelation. Confronting Grosvenor, Bunthorne threatens him with a dire curse unless he undertakes to become a perfectly ordinary young man. Grosvenor, intimidated, but also pleased at the excuse to escape the celebrity caused by his "fatal beauty", agrees to do so. This plot backfires, however, when Grosvenor reappears as an ordinary man; the ladies follow him into ordinariness, becoming "matter-of-fact young girls." Patience realises that Grosvenor has lost his perfection in her eyes – and that it therefore will not be so selfish for her to marry him, which she undertakes to do without delay. The ladies, following suit, return to their old fiancés among the Dragoons. In the spirit of fairness, the Duke chooses the "plain" Lady Jane as his bride, for her very lack of appeal. Bunthorne is left to the "vegetable" love that he has claimed (falsely) to desire most of all. Thus, echoing the subtitle of the piece, everyone sings that "Nobody 'Bunthorne's bride.'"