Lying on the bed and staring at the ceiling. Why am I getting so tired and feeling so lost more easily these days? Am I counting the sheep too fast? Should I slow down? Is it because the year is finally coming to an end, but I still do not see an end to this pandemic? Even though I have you, I am still my same old self. Nothing much has changed. Or maybe, just a few more lines and white hairs. Even though I have you, I think I am the same old self. Perhaps much less suspicious and more trusting, and maybe just a little happier? I know you are still there for me. Maybe I don't see you that often now but I know that I can still feel your warmth beside me. I am sorry that I need so much space in my life to be who I am. To be myself and to be safe in this crazy world. You ask me, why do my happy tunes still sound sad? It is because I wrote them when I was sad. Then why am I always sad? I ask myself, can happy people still write songs? In life, some questions do not need to